The start of another year. This period of January is always somewhat strange. You feel as though you just finished something by reaching the end of another year, only to find yourself having to start all over again with a simple rollover of the calendar. Getting to this point naturally lends itself to a bit of reflection, where you look back on the year gone by and try to make sense of what went right and what got lost in the chaos of life. As for myself, it seemed as though my period of reflection lasted throughout the entirety of 2015. From beginning to end, I spent the year trying to figure out who I am, who I want to be, who I want to spend my time with, what I value, and what I want to do with my life. This led to me trying new things, going new places, meeting new people, and spending a lot of time in reflection. In this, my annual year in review blog post, I will share a glimpse into what I have learned.
The year started out calm, with another lovely winter. As I've shared before on this blog, winter is my favorite season for a multitude of reasons. It was my time spent indoors hiding out from the cold that started my reflection. I realized that I was only getting further away from college, further away from my old life, and further along in realizing that I need to do what I feel is best for my life since I'm the one living it. The start of 2015 also marked one year of living with Matthew, Alyssa, and the lil' squeaker Helen. We learned a lot from each other and about each other in the first year, but I knew there were many more great times ahead. One of the most fascinating parts of the first year with them was watching Helen grow incredibly rapidly. There were days where she would wake up doing something new that she hadn't been able to do the day before. Watching a baby grow is quite the experience, especially if you're just the uncle who gets to have all of the fun without the responsibility.
As far as work goes, I worked my way past the one year mark at Coastal Sunbelt in April. Things got wilder as the year went along and I fully learned that every day is different in the produce business and that if something can go wrong, it probably will. The scale of the whole produce industry never ceases to amaze me though, as I can pick up the phone on any given day and ask for thousands of pounds of top quality produce to be at my door that night. In February and then again in May I learned first hand how crazy things get in the food service get on major holidays like Valentine's Day and Mother's Day. The working life of a 9-5 kind of job can slip by you quickly though as if you don't stop to think about whether you're doing what you want to be doing, then months fly by before you know it.
As for my faith, it continued to grow as I became more involved with my church and wrapped up one study group and joined another with some of my fellow Nav 20s members. The main thing I wrestled with all year and continue to today is asking why we're still here on Earth. Now, I believe that God has a master plan and that we won't know when Jesus is returning, but I can't figure out what he's waiting for. While this is a deeper topic that could be the subject of my next posting, that has been a part of my thought process and my actions this past year.
Those who know me well know that I have an insatiable love for trance music. This passion continued to grow in 2015 and I finally put into words, via another blog post, just how incredible trance music is and what it means to me. If you haven't read it yet, I invite you to take a few minutes and check it out (http://asickle.blogspot.com/2015/08/trance.html). I also focused on doing new things with my radio show, For the Soul, as I had a classics only show to celebrate the landmark episode 20 a few months ago. Overall, the craft of putting the shows together has become more refined as I've realized what does and doesn't work in terms of transitioning from one song to the next. In 2016, I hope to work more on being able to do live DJing, either through working on my own or with the help of a mentor. Really though, I love that I've been able to keep my show going for a solid 2 years now. If you haven't listened to any of the episodes yet, I invite you to at least try one, starting with my top tracks of 2015 episode that I just released at the end of the year (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv5AT1VI52U).
Another area of reflection in my life was with my friendships. Some of them grew stronger, such as the friendships I have with my fellow church members as MCF. Through being essentially a co-leader of ultimate frisbee with them, along with becoming more involved in the church through volunteer work, I have built a core group of friends who I can rely on being able to spend my whole Sunday with. Challenges came with older friendships, as it seems my thinking that true friendships can endure whatever comes along is not shared by all. One of my main friendships, the one I have with former roomie Tyler, continued right along despite the long distance between us now. In 2015, he and I finally did what we had said we should do by establishing a weekly online game night, where we update each other on ours lives and battle back and forth for dominance in a variety of games. One of my main events of the year was getting to travel with him down to Orlando for my first trip to Disney World. The whole experience was incredible, as Disney is a master of providing anything and everything you could need without having to leave their bubble. The weather was perfect, the crowds were light, and we did everything we had planned to do and more. We've already started planning our next adventure for 2016, and this time we're thinking of taking things abroad.
As the final months of 2015 came, the need for reflection grew as the need for change became more apparent. With Matthew and Alyssa having announced earlier in the year that kid #2 was on the way, it was time for me to look for a new place to live. As is usual for me, I pushed things right to the end, as I moved right at the deadline of year's end. The place I'm in now is temporary until hopefully another opportunity arises. The other changes I'm working on don't seem to have as firm of a deadline, other than what I've self-imposed. It's taking longer than expected for some, but I know that I need to face the challenges head on if I want to take my life in the direction I currently believe I want it to go. Reflection is a big part of all of this though, as I always seem to be second guessing myself and re-considering what direction that is.
That just about does it for 2015, a year without anything too major happening as it steadily rolled along. A main internal battle for me throughout the year came from me riding the line between wanting to help while working with others and my disdain for others fueling my desire to see this broken world end. I've was told a few different times throughout the year that I'm different from most people that others seem to interact with. I've stood out so much in the office that I acquired the nick-name of 'Amish Adam', due to my lack of stories about times I've gotten drunk, being unwilling to swear, and my recoiled reactions when other describe their broken families and relationships that are going against the original design. I know that this struggle will continue into 2016, but the unknown is how it will shape me, my actions, and my interactions with others.
As we look ahead into the new year, the paths we will all individually take have not yet been laid out. Although the calendar may have started anew, the process of reflection and self-discovery has not been completed for me. There are certain things I want to accomplish and areas where I know that change will come, one way or another. Looking back on my post from this time last year when I wrapped up 2014, I see that I mentioned then something that's still true today. That is, that planning can be a challenge. But, it's something that more times than not leads to us getting to where we want to be and without it, who knows where we may end up. The good news for me is that I have further learned in this past year that planning is something I enjoy, whether it be for a vacation or perhaps as an occupation that will lead to my career path. All I need is the right motivation, the opportunity to see all of the pieces in play, and the understanding of what I'm aiming for. Remember though, that while the end result often gets the glory and attention, it all has to start somewhere, which is usually with Just a Thought.
